tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4151768600145179792024-02-18T22:03:35.090-06:00Ophelia BloomingYou will not drown. You will bloom.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger201125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-61581596001298714152013-10-16T05:01:00.001-05:002013-10-16T05:01:28.810-05:00Writing for Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ophelia Blooming ~ my quiet spot, my little bubbling brook surrounded by shade trees and flowers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't write here often because I'm always over in <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">Sacred Middle</a> land trying to figure out all that and holding my megaphone trying to get people's attention and I get burned out sometimes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes I just want to write for me, and I know you're reading this too, but this writing is different than the "big blog" writing. This is a whisper, a secret between us. This is us sitting in our favorite cafe, talking about our dreams, trying to figure out what the hell we're doing here on earth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I quit my job over a year ago to freelance write. I enjoy writing about different things and want to dive a little deeper into guest posting and magazine articles. But then there's the big blog and me trying to create stuff and this whole other world I'm involved in and creating. I feel like I'm living two lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's all kind of confusing and out of focus. And then there's the me who wants to write a book, but can't get disciplined enough to do it because I have all this other stuff I'm trying to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to stay off the internet for awhile, clear my head. There are so many voices.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I pulled The Hermit card today and it said just that. Get quiet, get still, go into hiding. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know if that's entirely possible right now, but soon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you for meeting me here, reading, listening. Always showing up even after I'm gone for awhile. It's just different here and I like that.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-67404891825487863062013-09-18T22:55:00.001-05:002013-09-18T22:55:47.025-05:00Dulangan Stories<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are goats on the side of the road, the occasional caribou grazing on grass, mangy dogs who don't get out of the way for nothing, chickens and their babies, and the roosters who crow all day. Not just when the sun comes up. I'm not sure they sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wake up around 7am, feed the puppy, bring him upstairs and watch him go wild with puppy excitement. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I check my email, Facebook, all the regular stuff. Drink coffee, write, maybe exercise or think about exercising, but decide it's okay if I don't because I sweat a lot more in this humidity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I started a meditation practice - trying to reprogram my brain. But this place has reprogrammed me too. I'm still a first world-er, but I wear shirts with holes in them, don't wash my hair everyday, don't put on makeup to go into town, wear flip flops like it's the only shoe available (kinda is), eat more rice than I've ever eaten before, keep track of time less. I don't feel the need to buy clothes every time I turn around and the tiny hole in my shirt doesn't mean I throw it out. Nobody else cares about that crap. Why should I?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I live among Natives, poor fisherman, mountain people, families who bathe in the ocean. But also among people from all over the world. Rich people, poor people, poor people who used to be rich, old drunks, young Canadian kids who live on their own (the dad went back to Canada - story still being investigated), military vets, "criminals," hippies, high rollers, outcasts. The list goes on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lots of characters and wild stories people on the outside might not believe. It's kind of like a tropical commune of crazy...but in the best way. If nothing else, it gives me plenty to write about, and I want to write about it more because it would be a shame for all these stories to go to waste. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-34693376868584429442013-08-25T00:46:00.000-05:002013-08-25T00:46:27.578-05:00Offerings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This morning I woke up before 6 a.m. and went out onto the balcony. The sun rose over the mountains and cast its light on the ocean, sparkling shades of blue, silver, orange.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just now, enjoying hearty bowls of homemade vegetable soup: onion, big chunks of garlic, herbs and spices, green beans, ocra.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Listening to <i>Dreamcatcher </i>and <i>The Enchanted Forest </i>by Angels of Venice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wondering what it is that I need to create, to write. Wondering what people are craving. What do you want more of in your life? Poetry, love, confidence, dancing, writing, meditation, nature...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me know.</span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-34393279338908543792013-08-07T01:50:00.001-05:002013-08-07T01:50:32.214-05:00Letters to a Rock Star<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFoSC02d1aFVwBH3YQttyQat1qcyBH9Q88yUQRtSvruU76OeBm9uZ70rFXoKsvPQHhhu6n2Z0MWUNAS8z0KF_3uJayiB1QD8UlD1kAWqiH_wN6Q_bIKOpGPmVR37fMCQPPs_PgNcojNSI/s1600/envelope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="441" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFoSC02d1aFVwBH3YQttyQat1qcyBH9Q88yUQRtSvruU76OeBm9uZ70rFXoKsvPQHhhu6n2Z0MWUNAS8z0KF_3uJayiB1QD8UlD1kAWqiH_wN6Q_bIKOpGPmVR37fMCQPPs_PgNcojNSI/s640/envelope.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wrote this when I was a twentysomething with these songs on repeat: Hover by Trust Company and The Noose by A Perfect Circle. It won second place in the Writer's Digest Short Story Competition (literary fiction category).</span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can hear you in my dreams, but I don’t know what you’re saying. You’re singing and your eyes are closed and there is so much passion in your face. I can almost see your spirit. I want to be so close to you. I want to feel your breath on my neck. I want to breathe in your soul. I hate what I’ve become. I hate ever seeing you. My body is hollow – a sky with no stars. I feel like a poem of sadness and loneliness. I take pictures and rip them apart. I break the strings on my guitar and my fingers burn. I wonder if it’s possible to love someone who doesn’t know you’re bleeding. Who doesn’t know you’ve lost your breath.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m looking at the ocean. My eyes swim beneath its blues and greens and all I want to do is drown when I see your image. The sky is hot and the stars are burning me. I see her there and she is beautiful and her ring is like a tiny star. I knew this all along, but my heart is writing poems of sorrow. I don’t want to say a word and I don’t want to move. I just want to stand here and feel nothing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I go home and I listen to sad songs and I wonder why I feel the way I do. I wonder if I will always feel the way I do right now. I wonder if I will ever love the way I used to. If only, I say. I continue to dream and in my dreams I hear pianos and they are crying.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I finally saw you again and I walked up to you and I said that I really enjoyed the performance. The facial expression that I saw on you is the same one that everyone else sees and that hurts more than anything – to be an everyone. I can hear the pianos crying again and I can feel my soul dying.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I see you leave, I feel like we’re in our home and you’ve just told me that you’re seeing someone else. But I have never been a person to you, only an everyone, so I don’t know why I feel this way.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw you smile and you said, “If it weren’t for my fans I’d be nothing.” It’s because of you that I am nothing. You are the reason I am always standing there wanting to feel nothing because I’ve felt so much and I can’t take anymore.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You walked away and hugged another girl and her friend took a picture. You smiled at the camera and I heard this song inside my head. A song that I want you to sing, to play on your guitar. I was sinking into a pool of pink hibiscus flowers and the song was making my head buzz.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Maybe you are obsessed,” my friends say. “You don’t really love him. You’re only fifteen,” they say. “It’s just a crush.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wrote a poem once, called, “If Love was a Rock Star,” and I sent it to you in the mail. I covered the envelope in glitter and perfume.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You opened my heart and felt my falling spirit</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Angelic creatures dancing</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Violet lips, velveteen kisses</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love making</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Faery lights</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Daisy bloom burst.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I kissed you</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and the world was dynamite.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A response came to me about a month later. “Thanks for supporting the band,” it said. <i>Thanks for supporting my depression</i>, I thought.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes I reach for stars in my dreams. I pull at the sky, but it tugs at my heart. It tugs so hard that it rips my soul out and I cry and cry and swallow the stars to fill the emptiness inside of me. You are the sky ripping out my soul, making you bigger, stronger. Your fiancé loves you and you love her. She is a dragon in the clouds.</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvlgCVXqYj8XzGgh9NSHUDbbejgkEltMsG8HNN-xZDm7eLPZkNmc_d8TVCTBt-TYPNBh8uTLFgD39aM8aTOuCUTTJQ8PKGPnAP8YFo8gpxAuJ4HgglLreIeIBBW2RZ16oI0ACq1WjhRXo/s1600/blonde.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvlgCVXqYj8XzGgh9NSHUDbbejgkEltMsG8HNN-xZDm7eLPZkNmc_d8TVCTBt-TYPNBh8uTLFgD39aM8aTOuCUTTJQ8PKGPnAP8YFo8gpxAuJ4HgglLreIeIBBW2RZ16oI0ACq1WjhRXo/s640/blonde.jpg" width="470" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It has been a while since I’ve seen you. It’s almost summer time and my skin is turning rose-brown and my hair is winter-white. Your skin is always rose-brown. I go to the beach every day and write songs that I hear. I still want you to sing them, but somehow I believe that that would only break me. You would be singing them to everyone. I would be an everyone, just like always. When will you come again? I wonder. “Why does it matter?” my friends ask. “Why are you so weird about him?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I just want to see the passion in your face. I just want her to erase herself. Never touch your hair or wash your dishes or play with the dog in your backyard. When will you come again?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wrote a poem to you one time when I was sick in the hospital. The nurse said, “It will help you release your feelings.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wrote this poem and listened to you sing, “Fish in a Wave.” I felt like that fish. I was tumbling and the salt was stinging my eyes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like yours</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wilted flowers</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Faded glittering sky</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stars</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like yours</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spinning chaos</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nervous heart beats</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Voice</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like yours</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shouting sweet serenity</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Beckoning my love</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like love</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I never sent the poem to you because the nurse said, “You should burn it and make the feelings go away.” The feelings did not go away. They grew stronger and when I saw you again I wanted to burn you to make the feelings go away. But I knew you would only become smoke and I would breathe you in and you would always remain inside of me.</span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3XkLJWmw-4EM5yuagqOwV3LfWcSqBmAn-T7vgd_WCTNkMyvqTD5gs-xTcIofzsV1rPL6G0xfaE8BO9c7YjT61djdKJVgUTgLEZM0pkE9mHA7rPm56LgF1C1rBd3aHu_sxlbStqkJj4yU/s1600/553093_343107192405509_100001186941268_898722_931312028_n_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3XkLJWmw-4EM5yuagqOwV3LfWcSqBmAn-T7vgd_WCTNkMyvqTD5gs-xTcIofzsV1rPL6G0xfaE8BO9c7YjT61djdKJVgUTgLEZM0pkE9mHA7rPm56LgF1C1rBd3aHu_sxlbStqkJj4yU/s640/553093_343107192405509_100001186941268_898722_931312028_n_large.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mother says that you aren’t important. She says, “You can find other boys that really deserve you.” She says I need someone my age.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t like what she says and when she talks I shut her out and stare out the window and pretend that you are there. You are there and you’re beckoning me to come out and sing with you or play guitar. I smile at you, but Mother probably thinks I’m smiling at what she’s saying, which is fine with me.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dad doesn’t really care what I do. He's always busy at the office helping his clients get money. When he does talk to me he asks, “How are you, Eliza?” And I tell him that I’m in love with you and you are in love with me and he just says, “That’s nice, Honey.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I drew a picture of you in art class last year. The teacher said I was a good artist, but I said it was because of you. Because you are such a beautiful rock star. She showed you to the class and everyone liked the boots you were wearing. Those black ones with the buckles wrapping all around them. I said, “I’ve met him,” and everyone was jealous because they love your music.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’ve only really said hello to me and you gave me a hug a couple of times. I have your autograph and a lot of pictures of you hanging on my wall. In some of them I am standing beside you and smiling. My arm is wrapped around your waist and your hand is touching my shoulder. Some nights I cry when I look at the pictures because I want you to be in the bed with me and not on the wall. When I dream about you touching my breasts and kissing me, I cry because you’re not really there. I can only have you in my dreams.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My therapist tells me that next time I see you I should tell you how I feel. I don’t think you would care. I think you would say, “I’m busy, kid.” Then I would come home and cry and hate you because you are human. But then I would forget that you are human and love you again. I talk about that with my therapist a lot. About how people become human. “People are always human,” she says. And I say yes, but sometimes I can’t see that they’re human. Like you. I don’t think you’re human. I think maybe you’re a god and you have no flaws. If I ever start to think that you’re human, I shut my eyes real tight and tell myself that you aren’t over and over again. I always want to love you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went to the beach yesterday and pretended that we were walking in the waves and building sand castles and making love behind the big rocks. Would you ever do that? Make love behind the rocks? You remind me of summer because your skin is slick and tastes of coconut. I can taste it in my mouth when you shake your head on stage. I like those small clubs because I can almost touch you and your sweat and spit touches my lips when I’m in the front row. I’m always in the front row.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I really hate being fifteen and feeling this way and not going to school dances because I hate the boys, they are human. They aren’t beautiful like you. “You’re so weird,” they say, but I pretend like I don’t hear them. They are ugly and immature.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You don’t hate feeling in love. I never want to see you and her together. She is beautiful and she sees a different smile from you. Not the one that everyone else sees. Not the one that I see. I wish I had never met you because you make my heart bleed. I can feel my heart bleeding inside my chest and it scares me so I give the blood a place to go. I have to drain it sometimes. My mother cries when she sees me. “You’ll be shredded ribbon before you know it,” she says. She says she doesn’t know how to help me anymore. If you disappeared that would help me. Or maybe if I disappeared, because if you were to disappear I would still think about you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hate the light outside. The heat suffocates me and I can’t think. Sometimes I feel like a big pile of meat. I just lie on the couch and feel heavy and hot and sick, like a pile of meat with flies flying around it. So I’ve stopped eating meat so I will feel light and cool. Maybe you could see the way I felt. Next time I see you, you might see me differently.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t understand why I can’t have you. You smile at me every time I see you and say hey like you remember me and sometimes I think maybe you wish you were with me and not her. I know you’re like that to everyone, but why do you do that to me? Why do you ignore me after you smile and say hey. You let me get a picture with you and you sign my paper and then you move on. Why do you do that? Why can’t you just stay and talk with me a while and get to know me? Why can’t I go with you into the bus and talk to you about things? I know you would fall in love with me and forget about her and you would do anything for me, even stop singing because I hate that you’re gone so much.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It makes me so mad when I think about it. Why was it her fate to get you? I don’t understand. I hate you, hate you, hate you, and everything you are and I wish your heart would fall to pieces like mine.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m sorry that I said those things last time. I don’t really hate you like that. I hate you in that way that I hate myself. I guess I really hate myself and not you, but I hate you because I can’t have you. I tried telling this to the therapist, but she just said that I have to make myself get over you and find another boy. I don’t know what she’s talking about. How can you make yourself get over someone that you love so much? You can’t just play angry music and jump on the bed and scream, “I don’t love you!” over and over again until your heart stops loving. I think the therapist needs to find another job because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I do admit that it makes me feel better when I write these letters to you. I pretend that you’re falling in love with me as you read them. You’re telling your fiancé that she’s not enough anymore and that you need someone like me. Someone that understands what it’s like to be in love. Truly in love. That makes me smile, but then I realize that it’s not real and I cry, but there’s still some kind of hope inside me. If I didn’t have hope I wouldn’t be writing to you. I’ve realized that a person must have hope to live. If we don’t have hope then we feel nothing and we go from day to day feeling nothing and looking forward to nothing. That’s a really horrible feeling. I know because I’ve felt that way. I don’t feel that way right now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is winter and my skin is white, white snow. I look like a ghost with pale skin and white hair. Your skin is probably still rose-brown.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You haven’t been here in a long time. I’m beginning to wonder if out of sight out of mind is true. I haven’t dreamt about you or dreamt about the sky pulling at my spirit in a couple of days. I still love you though and I know the pain will come back when I think about how beautiful you are and how I can’t hold you like she does.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m sitting beneath a tree that has Christmas lights strung around its branches. The lights look like little plastic pieces of candy and I want to eat them. I want to be in candy land where all the twinkling lights taste like strawberry and bubblegum and blueberry.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mother says, “This Christmas is going to be wonderful, Eliza. We are going to be a family and do things together. That means you must eat Christmas dinner with us. No locking yourself inside your bedroom and eating cold Chinese food.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I only did that because I was mad at them. They didn’t get me your new album. They said it was too rough for me. I asked, “Then why do you let me go to the concerts?” They just glared at me and walked away. Sometimes they are so stupid.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t know whether to wish you a merry Christmas or to wish that your fiancé would break up with you. That would be wishing me a merry Christmas.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don’t know if I am excited that you are coming here soon. I’m afraid that I can’t take the pain. I don’t know if I want to feel nothing as I stand and watch your passion. There is hope inside me though. There is hope that you might look at me in a way that you don’t look at everyone else. Maybe you’ve realized that I’m more like you and you need me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am going to be so beautiful for you in my black dress. You are going to glance at my legs and undress me with your eyes. Then maybe I will get to talk to you and we’ll make love in your bus and I’ll leave home to be with you forever. I’m going to dream of that tonight. I hope that you will too.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-mesGu9rSF4v_U1h6rWkZJpvPrFYRzrxAuRuVOwx9pvl8nWxyYZPMKw1vdmVWPZbN5ict_5sVEIBXRY4uEIMangkst8enscgQmHS0LzN_jRY4GJceZRrgLWThEFRRM3gYAOxs599mT6s/s1600/bathtub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="608" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-mesGu9rSF4v_U1h6rWkZJpvPrFYRzrxAuRuVOwx9pvl8nWxyYZPMKw1vdmVWPZbN5ict_5sVEIBXRY4uEIMangkst8enscgQmHS0LzN_jRY4GJceZRrgLWThEFRRM3gYAOxs599mT6s/s640/bathtub.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">***</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am sitting in the bathtub and draining my heart, trying to make the pain and fear go away. I saw you for the first time in a long time and you smiled and said hey and walked right past me. I felt so suffocated in that small club; I was being pushed and I couldn’t grab your arm and make you look at me and make you see that I am falling apart because of you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You got on stage and sang my favorite song. For a split second I saw you look me in the eye and I smiled and then you asked your fiancé to go on stage and you held her hand and told everyone that you loved her so much and that you wouldn’t be here today without her. You sang a song to her and told us that the wedding would be soon and you wanted lots of kids and everyone clapped. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1; white-space: pre-wrap;">Except me. My heart bled and it’s still bleeding. I can’t make it stop bleeding. All my hope is gone. The therapist says, “Don’t beat yourself up over this, Eliza. You can’t do anything about it.” I’m so sick of what she has to say. I’m sick of everyone and being an everyone.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mother says she might have to put me back in the hospital because I’m very sick and need more help. She says I’m too obsessed for my own good. So maybe I am, but I’m not going to that place and I’m not listening to what anyone has to say and I’m going to make things better all on my own. You’ve hurt me so much. Remember that time I thought it would be good if I disappeared so I wouldn’t have to see or think about you anymore? I still think that would be good, so I am going to disappear underneath my heart that swims around me. Maybe Mother will have enough sense to send you this. I will lay it on the floor for her.</span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-9172538065111301882013-07-24T06:27:00.001-05:002013-07-24T06:27:37.779-05:00The Lover I Abandon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfMLI8iK1qqvCOsIWGVuAZKY7Mj0fmhF2mqJuk0OxQ_WMUJ-1Ci_TEfn1Ngw_rxTf8YIbnd75gZrkavtPe0w4VkUhv3bnXPoeh5ZnzB3u3Cw1k3D5M6ETwIsNmgjXXSrtMt7k72fQzixk/s1600/ep3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfMLI8iK1qqvCOsIWGVuAZKY7Mj0fmhF2mqJuk0OxQ_WMUJ-1Ci_TEfn1Ngw_rxTf8YIbnd75gZrkavtPe0w4VkUhv3bnXPoeh5ZnzB3u3Cw1k3D5M6ETwIsNmgjXXSrtMt7k72fQzixk/s320/ep3.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't describe to you the insatiable desire I've had to write. To pull out the brown leather notebook sitting in the closet, the one with notes upon notes and prose and poetry in it, all dedicated to Ezra Pound and Hilda Doolittle, and just write the damn story. The story I've been meaning to write for six years now. I write here and there, but I've had this desire to hunker down and turn out page after page of whatever, nonsense maybe, as long as something gets written.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because this story, the one about Ezra and Hilda, is becoming a thorn on the blooming rose of my heart. I don't know why it's so important - I knew many years ago - but things have changed and yet...the story remains important to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hear Ezra in the thunder, imagine him standing outside my door just waiting. Hilda is a ghost of a woman sitting beside me, whispering, <i>write it now, write it now, write it now</i>. And it's scary!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And so why don't I write it now? Because I have social obligations or blog posts to write or business ideas to think about or networking to do. Sure, I can believe all that, but what if it's because I'm afraid to show up at the page, wait for the story, but the story never comes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All I know is I've had an ache in my bones this week. I can't think when I'm reading or writing other things. All I see is that leather notebook sitting in the closet, just waiting.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-58137800850787427392013-06-04T05:21:00.002-05:002013-06-04T05:21:36.536-05:00Living Poetry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5T3ye3FacdLYLivQ12aieb8xAMygghzfS1dWO23x3YjDJ3JQKY3qaOWlpSjoVX9XPrmUXKI7hANFi-A1PpgBJ4qb4DgJ4-za4vWx8RvZxHdS7OtJ0i1IXrBE7HJOk8CIApN_EzcJ3FCU/s1600/palms-for-poem.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5T3ye3FacdLYLivQ12aieb8xAMygghzfS1dWO23x3YjDJ3JQKY3qaOWlpSjoVX9XPrmUXKI7hANFi-A1PpgBJ4qb4DgJ4-za4vWx8RvZxHdS7OtJ0i1IXrBE7HJOk8CIApN_EzcJ3FCU/s640/palms-for-poem.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Poetry is easy;</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it lives in the cracks</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and beams of sunlight - </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">just look at things</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and transfer life to paper.</span></span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-34723c88-0eb1-600a-f322-baa88c1b9f4f" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Write about the katydid </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">on the concrete wall </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and how it’s missing legs, </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but that its emerald body </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">washes over all the grey.</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or about the tiny spider</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">weaving a web between two clothespins</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and the chimes that are silent </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">on a hazy tropical day.</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And there are the palms hanging</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">like skeleton fingers </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">searching for something, </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a piano perhaps, </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to play that little jazz number</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to the beat of breaking waves.</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See how it all comes together so easily?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Little bits of life,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the ones begging to be looked at</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and written into history.</span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-81179233624816087672013-05-13T03:47:00.000-05:002013-05-13T03:47:13.838-05:00bindweed<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWwdB2Jfxpxj3JJRiPoneYpiNVa1Rn2Vl2cx7f6UAMKPhufuGT9cSJqm3cfU-v9RnS95AK_mXzQoXIpmyymi1Pr9efoFnaqj6v9xUE5CW1M9FvaYb1Zj3861ZvPb8KLqKzUaIXlBa6D5M/s1600/hedge-bindweed2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWwdB2Jfxpxj3JJRiPoneYpiNVa1Rn2Vl2cx7f6UAMKPhufuGT9cSJqm3cfU-v9RnS95AK_mXzQoXIpmyymi1Pr9efoFnaqj6v9xUE5CW1M9FvaYb1Zj3861ZvPb8KLqKzUaIXlBa6D5M/s640/hedge-bindweed2.jpg" width="409" /></a></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">love,</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(addiction)</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">like a morning glory</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(bindweed)</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">blooms white with sun</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in the soft heart,</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">telling you it’s okay,</span></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-75c3a0f9-9d0d-d5bd-8bf6-b406e19f5152" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(because it’s love)</span></span></b></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-77126789076687645502013-04-28T03:13:00.000-05:002013-04-28T03:13:43.648-05:00I am<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlreQsHlGdKfWIss4JfOgvJQHq-vhePH3MrILMRxji4FP0GObW0UukJK4VfcvhGgJux7zuTrf0fjtCgaKOCrueBuRSIOoj744oAxFdjx-IAGRWKUXczJw__0NCpXrwMWniTSsE1q_S9E/s1600/palmrows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjlreQsHlGdKfWIss4JfOgvJQHq-vhePH3MrILMRxji4FP0GObW0UukJK4VfcvhGgJux7zuTrf0fjtCgaKOCrueBuRSIOoj744oAxFdjx-IAGRWKUXczJw__0NCpXrwMWniTSsE1q_S9E/s640/palmrows.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am shades of violet</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">white moth twirling through sunlit dust</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">wings flittering through window galaxies</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am the number 15, 17, 30</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a palm tree rooted in memories</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sunblock scented and ocean dreaming</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am a tinkling wind chime </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in a desert of bones</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a hummingbird fat on sugar water</span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-30405808443072452522013-04-16T21:25:00.001-05:002013-04-16T21:25:43.562-05:00The Thing About Adventure<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijDYQYHAfyvkx4T3jowFVoMfD3u6K_n_pi0SRdrx-ngZTmgFfja7Yyn_yVBmB7pqTTuSrkXWiDrUcySqEBCWUM2VfqVUi6f-YXNKhxBPP7z8PLSZP-Adv_2PExcOJUJIB7M_I_JvsC6kI/s1600/ocean+hammock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijDYQYHAfyvkx4T3jowFVoMfD3u6K_n_pi0SRdrx-ngZTmgFfja7Yyn_yVBmB7pqTTuSrkXWiDrUcySqEBCWUM2VfqVUi6f-YXNKhxBPP7z8PLSZP-Adv_2PExcOJUJIB7M_I_JvsC6kI/s640/ocean+hammock.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More hammock days to come.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing about adventure is that it brings up all kinds of emotions: fear, excitement, sadness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fear of the unknown, excitement for what's to come, sadness for what's left behind. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been almost two years since I wrote this <a href="http://opheliablooming.blogspot.com/2011/07/dreaming.html" target="_blank">post</a> about my call to adventure. And it's been six years since I first wrote down my big, impossible dream. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, six years ago I wrote in my journal that my dream was to move to an island, not have to have a day job, write all day long, and be with a man who truly loved me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the time, I didn't think any of that was possible. Live by the ocean? Maybe. Writing as my profession? Hardly. Not have a day job? Impossible. But all three at once, plus true love? More than impossible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hardly knew I was on the road to creating that dream the day I wrote it down. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In six days I fly across the world to live on an island in a house by the sea, to reunite with a man who loves me to pieces, and to write as much as I want because it's my profession. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dreams coming true. Adventure unfolding. It's strange what happens when impossible dreams stare you right in the face. You kind of feel like running away because of the bigness of it all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The other thing is that, in order to move towards a dream, one must move away from something else. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sad to be moving away from family and leaving my dog behind, but I'm grateful to have the internet to be able to keep up with them and talk over Skype. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The thing I always tell myself when I'm feeling a bit nervous is that the further I get out of my comfort zone, the bigger it gets. My comfort zone is about to get a whole lot bigger! And there will be new experiences, blog posts with dreamy pictures, and plenty of time to write that novel. The novel written by the sea, just like I always dreamed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So stay tuned...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And speaking of impossible dreams, do you have one? Have you written it down? Share it here and let the magic unfold.</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-74655861093604271442013-04-08T23:29:00.000-05:002013-04-08T23:29:21.638-05:00White Moth: Quotes from Violet & Claire<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUrYFjGVIlYMzB2jTaUh2A2CsXYb_yewVgk1PSN9ULjvGNgDmqUiKvXIcTi2Rpfcod5tR9cdvj0h6bN87yLu8v91UBfCh6jeJuvk8tLH3AnmBoNze49kUFK_oEvzJvDDvajA6SdykefiY/s1600/moths.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUrYFjGVIlYMzB2jTaUh2A2CsXYb_yewVgk1PSN9ULjvGNgDmqUiKvXIcTi2Rpfcod5tR9cdvj0h6bN87yLu8v91UBfCh6jeJuvk8tLH3AnmBoNze49kUFK_oEvzJvDDvajA6SdykefiY/s640/moths.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">via weheartit</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"She a <span style="color: purple;">purple-</span>black African-violet-dark butterfly and I a white moth."</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglton5_RbCjNfT5u0W7SFjEV6efZO1De99ypeB91_wE7J8SbwKyquQSWHHITpb5kpuOdtLEJGoGuWzTEPO_EqPIcEpFc4uDWVw34juKjueLHr2z1I4qpVm0D4WI4ub5VFbFE-Oioym8xA/s1600/Marian_Poster_by_yumedust.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglton5_RbCjNfT5u0W7SFjEV6efZO1De99ypeB91_wE7J8SbwKyquQSWHHITpb5kpuOdtLEJGoGuWzTEPO_EqPIcEpFc4uDWVw34juKjueLHr2z1I4qpVm0D4WI4ub5VFbFE-Oioym8xA/s640/Marian_Poster_by_yumedust.jpg" width="432" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marionette Moths by <a href="http://yumedust.deviantart.com/art/Marionette-Moths-104018559" target="_blank">yumedust</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I can feel the faeries beckoning me into the peaceful poppyfields of sleep where boys never betray you or shoot at you and best friends tuck you in the folds of their wings until there is no difference between the two of you, and there is no sorrow and there is no pain."</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAtj9ovvc3w1G-KhDGrTNqsD9VszS87AcuSVOJU7vZFkzFKid-AKFZ5fiv_YuVN_td5Jz3rhvdqeY85ucNcKnoM_7mu8hU3Sh7nH4cB9c7Wk_9Y5xBJgGAvghvDSLDLvDhjXOOwIyofs/s1600/Night_training_by_kisskornel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVAtj9ovvc3w1G-KhDGrTNqsD9VszS87AcuSVOJU7vZFkzFKid-AKFZ5fiv_YuVN_td5Jz3rhvdqeY85ucNcKnoM_7mu8hU3Sh7nH4cB9c7Wk_9Y5xBJgGAvghvDSLDLvDhjXOOwIyofs/s1600/Night_training_by_kisskornel.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Night Training by k<a href="http://kisskornel.deviantart.com/art/Night-training-26073667?q=gallery%3Akisskornel%2F21684191&qo=13" target="_blank">risskornel</a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"...I'm a descendant of an ancient race who knew the secrets of nature and radiated light and were then forced underground and corrupted in the folklore into weak little flitty fantasy things."</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcGei6R_EPmqCcsGiS6-8TqloSB6MmGivtbmTA0qiy2jpFHCGw1ts-03C-2llG4rPr6FXRVcrpZEHS3qL8YV1ZkhK4erFBZ4lKLV4lBHlDkhhK51hQXwXBTwwGFr-FCqtXxl6r7Flyo0/s1600/flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="523" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWcGei6R_EPmqCcsGiS6-8TqloSB6MmGivtbmTA0qiy2jpFHCGw1ts-03C-2llG4rPr6FXRVcrpZEHS3qL8YV1ZkhK4erFBZ4lKLV4lBHlDkhhK51hQXwXBTwwGFr-FCqtXxl6r7Flyo0/s640/flowers.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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via weheartit</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I'd rather chew morsels and suck flowers and wear feathers."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">~Quotes from Violet & Claire by Francesca Lia Block</span></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-16644530402907036012013-03-26T23:41:00.000-05:002013-03-26T23:41:09.088-05:00Kai<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQH5B3ob8lW7RtT_abTj8PRgsajj82CdD9PKK3JZa9ggQTuxA28CCC1MxevjBztEflP54V2W8lHMocmjFOL8onXydUPbcrMk8vvkZ9CZZ8lZDsP8RsLoR_2Yxz-iI35BdEpuIjZHtWMdQ/s1600/whitefeather.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="427" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQH5B3ob8lW7RtT_abTj8PRgsajj82CdD9PKK3JZa9ggQTuxA28CCC1MxevjBztEflP54V2W8lHMocmjFOL8onXydUPbcrMk8vvkZ9CZZ8lZDsP8RsLoR_2Yxz-iI35BdEpuIjZHtWMdQ/s640/whitefeather.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">have you ever looked at a picture of someone</span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">you knew you could never have</span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of someone you’ve spoken to once or twice</span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of someone who etched his memory inside you</span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.39926024922169745" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of someone whose fingers maybe grazed your palm</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that’s kai</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">he’s always knocking</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">but when you open the door</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">only the feathers of his wings</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">land in your hands</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">grab him when you can</span></div>
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</b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-77433827809635041702013-03-18T23:08:00.001-05:002013-03-19T22:30:52.920-05:00November Diary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivftevyuo7Tw9ud2Hx1_GSCahYWudueufaB6BdekqsFQzJtAQRTLgOJjJrXbU7qIeJIEH_KHtRMPuj9kG-QrYC-jO1MBN0r440lgAc07pWk-wVe6L6HHTR4bNb8sk6DI6D6XiJ975jQp0/s1600/flowerpaint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivftevyuo7Tw9ud2Hx1_GSCahYWudueufaB6BdekqsFQzJtAQRTLgOJjJrXbU7qIeJIEH_KHtRMPuj9kG-QrYC-jO1MBN0r440lgAc07pWk-wVe6L6HHTR4bNb8sk6DI6D6XiJ975jQp0/s640/flowerpaint.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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November 13, 2012</div>
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I feel like crying all the time. Everything is alive inside of me, and yet, everything on the outside is falling away like petals on a dying rose. If God is pruning, I hate the way it feels.</div>
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I wrote on Facebook that I have a purpose larger than life and that scares me. Why would I claim such a thing? My own life scares me because I think there are big things on the way. Hard things, challenges, breakdowns, breakthroughs, and changing the world. I'm scared to death.</div>
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My life isn't going to be like anything I ever imagined. I see myself as a young girl, head full of dreams, always saying, "I'm going to be a writer and I'll take care of you. I'll remember you." I want to hold her hand. And I see my teenage self, the dark clouds just beginning to form and the tears building up inside. I want to cry with her, but let her know everything's going to be okay. She is loved. So loved.</div>
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And now I cry when I hear God saying, "I love you, Cassandra, and I'm so proud of you." And I know he's at work in my life and there are all these invisible things coming together. He's weaving words that I'll have to write. I've been needing to write these hard, vulnerable truths lately, how we're all missing the point, how we can't have everything, how we must give up everything to be something. There's nothing fancy free about the world and people are sleeping, but think they're awake.</div>
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I need to just cry and let the petals fall. I need to cry for everyone who is hurting and lost, sad and hungry.</div>
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When I look at the sky I see God. The whole universe exploding around me. It's all dying and being born constantly. </div>
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It doesn't matter who we are in the darkness of space - God cradles us all. In the end, we're all just star stuff with souls.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-3924063498267626412013-03-14T14:55:00.000-05:002013-03-19T22:31:53.525-05:00(Almost) Spring Afternoon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmVuwaL1YyPbwOG0bUK7MGYwjgXriRpZnAFTlJ3oIrqDnCXJ_yeTmvOGYAx-TZBkv8NeAIvOtcs42gVgZFsqk1CIF_t8LgQ2jBCDJSyAKSafUFyPTcLxqidPN1U_kRVUMT8sVm80oN_1g/s1600/bench.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmVuwaL1YyPbwOG0bUK7MGYwjgXriRpZnAFTlJ3oIrqDnCXJ_yeTmvOGYAx-TZBkv8NeAIvOtcs42gVgZFsqk1CIF_t8LgQ2jBCDJSyAKSafUFyPTcLxqidPN1U_kRVUMT8sVm80oN_1g/s640/bench.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It's a delicious day.<br />
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Weather like a warm, buttery biscuit.<br />
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Sky an ombre blue.<br />
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Birds chattering about the coming of spring.<br />
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Wind to balance the early heat.<br />
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I like to take breaks from writing to stand outside, get some vitamin D, stretch my limbs and spine. If I sit down, the dogs (all three) get on either side of me and try to crawl into my lap.<br />
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How is your day?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-34886357461904064422013-03-03T01:56:00.001-06:002013-03-19T22:32:38.016-05:00Sylvia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHNzA091m1VsR_XVQHRPWFmyYKutJnlOc7E4rz2G8Do2fOFOclfCLT-PJMS4o5kG1q017JmLxFstEOEZa1VrEQJbtDCqKoBzUoNxdhwmlxDTEk3x2VKlfCIabNKYUB2upXKuWNGevZdc/s1600/sylvia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHNzA091m1VsR_XVQHRPWFmyYKutJnlOc7E4rz2G8Do2fOFOclfCLT-PJMS4o5kG1q017JmLxFstEOEZa1VrEQJbtDCqKoBzUoNxdhwmlxDTEk3x2VKlfCIabNKYUB2upXKuWNGevZdc/s640/sylvia.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I wish I could've been there for her.<br />
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Sat at the kitchen table, chatted over mugs of coffee.<br />
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I would've said, "Take a vacation. I'll watch the baby."<br />
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And she would've taken the vacation and come back all refreshed and ready for a new chapter in her life.<br />
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She would've dumped ol' what's his name.<br />
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Maybe she wouldn't have written as much poetry because of the disappearing sadness, but maybe she would have.<br />
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We'll never know.<br />
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A poem I wrote for her in college:<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.881557771936059" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You were a daring beauty</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">whose words ached</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">liked old bones.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No one could take the pain</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so they dismissed you</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">with blank faces</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and sticks and stones.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And you crawled into</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the dark places</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of your heart</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">where no one lived.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nothing was said,</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">but silence was dead-</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">like you.</span></b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-8003700927927868802013-03-03T01:15:00.000-06:002013-03-03T01:15:19.407-06:00Dear Ophelia BloomingI miss you.<br />
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I've abandoned you far too many times, but I always come back. You're like a favorite old book that gets tossed to the side. The one with all the beautiful pictures and concert stubs and life lessons.<br />
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I forget about you and the small things, the poetry, the bits and pieces of stories left untold.<br />
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I forget because I'm too busy thinking about business and tribes and what I'm supposed to be blogging about <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">elsewhere</a>.<br />
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I love that place, I do, but you are my first love. We go back like best friends. You came into my life before the sh*t hit the fan and life went all topsy turvy. It wasn't bad though.<br />
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So now I'm all grown up, but still walking in circles, it seems, trying to find that sweet spot in life. There are younger people than I doing some pretty cool stuff and I have to wonder where the eff I went wrong, but we're not supposed to compare, right?<br />
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I'm sorry if I abandon you again, but just know that you're on my mind from time to time. And I'll always come back.<br />
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xo,<br />
CassandraUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-248779595597075452012-09-11T15:05:00.001-05:002012-09-11T15:05:34.781-05:00Fairy Tea<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_kWOAvADDn25xGZ48T36O-r4XTszrvalO5-Giiuun_6WJrdhffdqf8pOSN4pIb218KtbTj58FyMi5mOwo6KP1eAHT5Scjgu8O8NHwt1o9PX6f3YDtJKGd-5RiEHtUGIlIjQLYYar1HM/s1600/teacups.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4_kWOAvADDn25xGZ48T36O-r4XTszrvalO5-Giiuun_6WJrdhffdqf8pOSN4pIb218KtbTj58FyMi5mOwo6KP1eAHT5Scjgu8O8NHwt1o9PX6f3YDtJKGd-5RiEHtUGIlIjQLYYar1HM/s400/teacups.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Recommended for taking tea with fairies:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">pretty teacups - they don't have to match</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a delicious tea blend - this one's called Fairytale Tea by <a href="http://www.mountainroseherbs.com/tea_bev/tea_bev.html" target="_blank">Mountain Rose Herbs</a></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghejBdkvrqsJtYVqYMpTNcYf_4cQ1LhQxuDFftGcb-kITzU_vumWXIHvxFZxhkZxHjYm7A2VQ0uiYt2JWRZZCtxVTtePh5dLP5RGpIRbmRvBpjGcckp7W-i_isjhqCkeB3GS1Eg2d1DFo/s1600/fairytale+tea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghejBdkvrqsJtYVqYMpTNcYf_4cQ1LhQxuDFftGcb-kITzU_vumWXIHvxFZxhkZxHjYm7A2VQ0uiYt2JWRZZCtxVTtePh5dLP5RGpIRbmRvBpjGcckp7W-i_isjhqCkeB3GS1Eg2d1DFo/s400/fairytale+tea.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">wings of course</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEx8jbhQA3KO3plcK91wReHu0yclJyFOJPJeYWDN7yuq3QJlVJnz0Uh1S5E7Cr0uEtGOV7cLxcHf6mtoG3MJFvj5C_j5-59PGYSdq6_EStJvBVylqvK0KBnn6k8Uk2cFGziMmaF75iV1Q/s1600/wings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEx8jbhQA3KO3plcK91wReHu0yclJyFOJPJeYWDN7yuq3QJlVJnz0Uh1S5E7Cr0uEtGOV7cLxcHf6mtoG3MJFvj5C_j5-59PGYSdq6_EStJvBVylqvK0KBnn6k8Uk2cFGziMmaF75iV1Q/s400/wings.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">poetry by <a href="http://www.francescaliablock.com/" target="_blank">Francesca Lia Block</a> or music by <a href="http://www.emilieautumn.com/" target="_blank">Emilie Autumn</a> (she has poetry too)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQLNvwMT0jkNRh_4FHxvp6d9jfBNPHb2TdMsCACtQxVVNhuT8JApMVgzbKvONT_5Qghd1bSGV6VeJ7WMH-ck3V7zXgxwJwHTgKljeRhT4XB3T2Y5ml0AQnDpt24mdxzm_HUBhM0ujXNNU/s1600/DSC02685.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQLNvwMT0jkNRh_4FHxvp6d9jfBNPHb2TdMsCACtQxVVNhuT8JApMVgzbKvONT_5Qghd1bSGV6VeJ7WMH-ck3V7zXgxwJwHTgKljeRhT4XB3T2Y5ml0AQnDpt24mdxzm_HUBhM0ujXNNU/s400/DSC02685.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">yummy desserts</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_YQMCKyFHGC_TQl3eHuI3s_qF-p3jIZIVUd9IgqWje4INnXzh8kgncVAs5Uo0quXC7rxzrrJiWO6Px4KO56oYIfgWP0iiZ2EEFu7pEV-VcNv28mBI5Buwrbcu2MpcQ6FFTInn0vFeFNo/s1600/DSC01933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_YQMCKyFHGC_TQl3eHuI3s_qF-p3jIZIVUd9IgqWje4INnXzh8kgncVAs5Uo0quXC7rxzrrJiWO6Px4KO56oYIfgWP0iiZ2EEFu7pEV-VcNv28mBI5Buwrbcu2MpcQ6FFTInn0vFeFNo/s400/DSC01933.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">xoxo</span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-5093898908037397372012-08-15T22:20:00.001-05:002012-08-15T22:22:10.294-05:00Dream Catcher<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDl2g_c8uS6G62VPWr6HwdSRBRPaglGLy8BrICah26W414l2nA_hLyER7X2xBmSLmGe7NpP5MOkMfwq3NjX295lEIIAKInZgpLh8OdmP3VxcriGcRHeRR0iGMxdQF8fDS0qCJg_Y5Gu9Q/s1600/DSC_0086.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDl2g_c8uS6G62VPWr6HwdSRBRPaglGLy8BrICah26W414l2nA_hLyER7X2xBmSLmGe7NpP5MOkMfwq3NjX295lEIIAKInZgpLh8OdmP3VxcriGcRHeRR0iGMxdQF8fDS0qCJg_Y5Gu9Q/s400/DSC_0086.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now that I'm self-employed, I spend a lot of time in my art/zen room creating, writing, looking up at these flags. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I watch the sun shift its light through the window; my dog sleeps on my lap while I look for freelance work; I take tea breaks and read Pink Smog by Francesca Lia Block and remember how utterly beautiful her writing is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These days are good, quiet, busy. These days are the ones I dreamed of many months ago, so it's only natural that I would start worrying about losing them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I try not to think about it though, and I do the best work I can do and relish each dreamy moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I finished my second ebook, Keep Walking - A Journey Through the Deserts of Life. Throughout the whole writing process the words just flowed, so I know this book was meant to be. There are people out there who need this information. I needed it! I wrote it to help me figure out how to get through the transitional periods in life. I wrote it because I needed to be my own cheerleader, my own guide through what felt like a massive desert that I was never getting out of. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If this sounds like something that might help you, pop on over to <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">The Sacred Middle</a> and get your free copy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Right now I'm listening to a beautiful song of chimes and flute called Dreamcatcher by Angels of Venice. There's something about the sound of chimes that brings peace. I think of light breezes and daydreaming by tiny waterfalls. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-62863644669565620562012-07-30T16:48:00.000-05:002012-07-30T16:48:50.332-05:00Calling All Creative Goddesses<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hello creative goddesses!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have something extra special to share with you today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Leonie Dawson's Creative Goddess E-course!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have you heard of <a href="http://www.leoniedawson.com/" target="_blank">Leonie Dawson</a> or the Goddess Guidebook? It's a magical place where you can create, play, connect, share, learn, inspire, be inspired! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Creative Goddess E-course is about all this and more, and you have TWO days left to sign up. When you do, you get access to a treasure chest of guided meditations, colorful workbooks, videos, and the goddess forum where you can share your creative journey with others.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love, love, love all of Leonie's creations and highly recommend this course if you're feeling creatively stuck, want to get back into making art, enjoy artsy things, or don't think you have a creative bone in your body. You do! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Want to know more?</span><br />
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The Creative Goddess e-Course is a powerful, spirited way for you to experience creativity in a whole new way. The e-course is six weeks to discover the Creative Goddess in you.</div>
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* Every week you will be assigned Creative Goddess projects to do for the week in a range of creative mediums ~ you will be exploring new ways of creating and connecting with the gorgeous soul, wisdom & beauty inside you.<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />* <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Six hand-drawn, illustrated and painted ebooks and three sets of worksheets</strong> guiding you on creating art as a sacred practice, how to find healing on your journey, walking through your stucknesses, how to create sacred space and discovering the Goddess in you.<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />* <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Six </strong>videos each week from me and Charlie the Happy Healer Dog guiding you on the next part of your Creative Goddess journey.<br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />* <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Six guided</strong> <strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">30 minute </strong>MP3 goddess meditations by me to work with for each part of the course. These are incredibly powerful resources, and are worth the price of the course alone.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sounds awesome, right? So what are you waiting for? Click the image below to start your creative journey!</span></div>
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<a href="http://leoniedawson.com/affiliate-redirect/?p=CassandraKey&w=creatgoddess" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg18hGgNy5btbpf0Ek04yKkLdEAg8XDhVdk-Lf6JxnhRZE3zkglc1yBHEWf_0ihq-7VK7Agjg4QV4tLUyoH_9IVqDnLWy7WVvJEC7CKtrZXTuSKWaAnrcDtBD0AnUDNNMwCninA3jc_bSw/s400/cgbig.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">P.S. I am an affiliate of this course, which means I get a percent of the profit when you purchase. So, Leonie gets paid for her awesome work, I get a little moola for helping spread the love, and you get a whole lot of creative goodness! It's a win-win-win :)</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-73770023923816021132012-07-26T12:01:00.000-05:002012-07-26T12:01:05.883-05:00To-Do List<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/opheliac/6196365301/in/set-72157604503425221" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4rqBMnL7E-NSQxSkGdWaDxmkDxYuG6U827XnK77eTgSi8ehTHN2zZdAGLi6v2K9grlTCzez2PTP3mAccY8Pkg_L2qDNFDub6cEzNWLVBIk-TyhgkEu0IqacW2ZohidX5zLFqAeM5EQRI/s400/wings.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I've had these wings since I was 19.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why don't you...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* write love letters to friends and stuff the envelopes with glitter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* wear striped stockings and fairy wings while sipping tea and reciting poetry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* dance in the grocery store aisles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* paint your nails every color of the rainbow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* write for an hour about whatever you want.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* look at old pictures of yourself and laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* imagine crawling into a seashell and listening to your voice echo.</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-13321557508998277392012-07-24T16:25:00.000-05:002012-07-24T16:34:13.270-05:00Counting Down the Days<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfvvhxBBDFNbKarxCbJgPzbRGBr_uqYzad5UnkzHziQP6okVBYRJ4MIyC9ZjgyKXAf5YpT2PN8ARKvhygbYWkzkv9Vbn0Q_-6MgDAKWloRjlJ7J2hPxxT65vGBAD6eIV2z1k3rkDh44IA/s1600/speak.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfvvhxBBDFNbKarxCbJgPzbRGBr_uqYzad5UnkzHziQP6okVBYRJ4MIyC9ZjgyKXAf5YpT2PN8ARKvhygbYWkzkv9Vbn0Q_-6MgDAKWloRjlJ7J2hPxxT65vGBAD6eIV2z1k3rkDh44IA/s400/speak.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/opheliac/5867476819/in/set-72157604503425221" target="_blank">By Me!</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I absolutely cannot wait for next Friday – my first official
day as writer, artist, and solopreneur extraordinaire. What will I do on my
first day of self-employment? Wake up when my body says it’s time to wake up,
workout early in the day, work on my e-book, write my heart out, network,
paint, and generally be all kinds of giddy that I have so much time to do what
I want. I might even take a nap. It’s the rhythm of nature, you know, to take
naps? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’ll be doing a lot of writing over at <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">The Sacred Middle</a>, if
you care to take a gander, but I won’t forget Ophelia Blooming. This blog has
been my fairy child for so, so long and I’m sorry to have ever abandoned it. I
want to share with you my attempts at painting fairies and mermaids, videos
about poetry and tea, creative quests, and whatever else my little brain thinks
of when I’m trying to go to sleep at night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I smile just thinking about it! I can’t wait, I can’t wait,
I can’t wait!!!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-47105739652226094662012-07-17T19:57:00.001-05:002012-07-17T19:58:27.768-05:00Believe in Fairies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjij6My4FdyG4JRtM2d4hb0hgfHrJiTx5VU5fJlKPSpd_FiQNtFUTsbI2-LHJESWMMYw0fdynekn8FgYYfe023f0Ueh0IPCVFvCT6EkMEAnwje0j-xji3A2lnVrfkDDHFSDtIgOmFnfrBg/s1600/faeries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjij6My4FdyG4JRtM2d4hb0hgfHrJiTx5VU5fJlKPSpd_FiQNtFUTsbI2-LHJESWMMYw0fdynekn8FgYYfe023f0Ueh0IPCVFvCT6EkMEAnwje0j-xji3A2lnVrfkDDHFSDtIgOmFnfrBg/s400/faeries.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-36436847938479855292012-07-17T17:07:00.000-05:002012-07-17T17:07:05.556-05:00Everything Changes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMEXytWZ_QG73Cztu-ksO2SKxMRjT0ayF5zuGSXaMC3AXmQD37CrzD7lZjuAVKm2eHqcT6UkwFSVTHDcjG6AKvATk8tY_jGAMYC-VqiIZtnjUQqFE52hNfW18zanUXSGgO16u9VNlyAQ/s1600/428412_364647663607045_1488442006_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWMEXytWZ_QG73Cztu-ksO2SKxMRjT0ayF5zuGSXaMC3AXmQD37CrzD7lZjuAVKm2eHqcT6UkwFSVTHDcjG6AKvATk8tY_jGAMYC-VqiIZtnjUQqFE52hNfW18zanUXSGgO16u9VNlyAQ/s320/428412_364647663607045_1488442006_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things are changing again. Just like last time, I knew it
was coming. If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile you know the last big
<a href="http://opheliablooming.blogspot.com/2009/04/moving-on.html" target="_blank">change</a> was 3 years ago when a relationship failed and everything I had imagined
for the future went up in ashes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unlike last time, I knew this change would be something
exciting. My soul jumped around in my body and demanded adventure.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s why I decided to resign from my cushy, comfortable
job and go at it alone. Be my own </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">boss, write my own story. As of August 2<sup>nd</sup>
I am no longer walking someone else’s path.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I know what’s going to happen? No clue. Am I scared?
Absolutely. My only plan is to do what I love, do what inspires me, and have a
whole lotta faith. If my future is anything like my past, I know I will be
taken care of. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How about you? Any “life quakes” happening in your world?
How are you coping?</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-41021472552629056292012-07-03T18:01:00.000-05:002012-07-03T18:01:54.391-05:00Things<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel like I'm moving into a sacred light.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A divine space where I am guided, inspired, strengthened. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There was a moment today when everything around me just kind of disappeared and I felt a great sense of gratitude, like my spirit had settled into my bones and sighed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tomorrow is a day off and I'm going to juice it for all it's worth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe I'll finish the painting of the girl with turquoise hair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe I'll write something for <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">The Sacred Middle</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been thinking about circles lately and how they play such a huge part in nature and in everyday life. I want to draw a mandala that represents the sacred middle. I want to start a women's circle where I can connect with other women and share secrets, thoughts, tears, and laughter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Circles are everywhere - they are the thumbprint of God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And isn't it magic that we are made of galaxies and fire and earth and stars? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What things are on your mind?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">xo,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cassandra</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-89740514279355005022012-07-01T14:16:00.001-05:002012-07-01T14:17:35.934-05:00Goddess of the Week - Anuket<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkWVHSzIfif4H5rQUfWMEJUcSmSt0lFXf9wGWFqYjnRTVzgMwLeEYpl7Dn47O1XtUZVBbUYvEq0LXVAasAo0hJyF8zAvnbuyIDrOhWdO0QXrqHwZsIZkuw1M5mUk8iWd0nEXwwlNpiC8/s1600/anukis-160x247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkWVHSzIfif4H5rQUfWMEJUcSmSt0lFXf9wGWFqYjnRTVzgMwLeEYpl7Dn47O1XtUZVBbUYvEq0LXVAasAo0hJyF8zAvnbuyIDrOhWdO0QXrqHwZsIZkuw1M5mUk8iWd0nEXwwlNpiC8/s1600/anukis-160x247.jpg" /></a></div>
<i>Your life will overflow with blessings.</i><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">How appropriate that I pull this card right before it starts raining. It hasn't rained in weeks!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Anuket was the Egyptian goddess associated with the Nile. Her name translates as "the embracer" and she was acknowledged as the giver of water, prosperity, and fertility.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">May your week overflow with blessings!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-415176860014517979.post-13036655793103968342012-07-01T13:13:00.002-05:002012-07-01T13:13:55.642-05:00Ophelia Blooms Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0OH-JDNul-v0S83UuB2uzvP5N2sbwCRfDa2Grh7bActkX-SH_Oh9P-YDFNxj5ZK2-kX9sZGL8fACWN36f91CHX2w-6ivVGfxg4iOnvIUsiCYlNnX1QMFiR2itgFf8c-T3C-gdJJbT2Dg/s1600/teahands.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0OH-JDNul-v0S83UuB2uzvP5N2sbwCRfDa2Grh7bActkX-SH_Oh9P-YDFNxj5ZK2-kX9sZGL8fACWN36f91CHX2w-6ivVGfxg4iOnvIUsiCYlNnX1QMFiR2itgFf8c-T3C-gdJJbT2Dg/s320/teahands.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I've decided to resurrect Ophelia Blooming and use it as my personal blog. I'm also blogging at <a href="http://www.thesacredmiddle.com/" target="_blank">The Sacred Middle</a>, but content is focused on transition, change, receiving clarity, and getting through the meantime. It's a space for you and helping you create a beautiful future by honoring the present moment. Ophelia Blooming is a space for me, but I'm sharing it with you. If you happen to like reading my poetry and stories and personal thoughts, all the better!<br />
<br />
So for those of you who once followed Ophelia Blooming I say welcome back, and for new readers I say hello! Would anyone like some hibiscus tea?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0