Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I read a declaration from the book Transitions - Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life by Julia Cameron each day to help ease the rough patches in my life. I especially loved today's.

All my life I believed I knew something. But then one strange day came when I realized that I knew nothing. Yes, I knew nothing.
~Ezra Pound

Trauma can shake our certainty. The shattered faith of trust by a friend, the betrayal by a fickle lover, the cataclysmic loss of a long-standing job, the death of a young person--these and like events may skid us into despair. This is the rocky terrain of the heart, the moonscape of broken dreams. Every life contains times of spiritual bankruptcy, seasons of drought and doubt. Faced by a world made foreign of known markers, I set my own compass toward self-care. With prudence and wisdom, I schedule sleep, food, creation and recreation. Tending myself as I would an ailing friend, I gently rehabilitate my wounded heart.

Today, I am a loving nurse to my ailing spirit. Today, I salve my difficulties with personal compassion. I act toward myself with concrete loving kindness. I set firm but loving limits on my expenditures of energy.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wishes and Star Prayers

"Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth."

"Here you go on this long long dream. Don't even try to wake up. Just let it go on until it is over. You will learn many things. Just relax and observe because there is pain and that's it mostly and you aren't going to be able to escape no matter what. Eventually it will all be over anyway. Good luck."

~ Quotes by Francesca Lia Block
~Wish photo by Beth Retro

*Star Prayer* (a lil poem by me)

Oh, stars
shouting from the sky-
your constellations become dreams
of spoons and bears and fiery lions.
Let them be secrets
you whisper only to me.
Let the moon gather my wishes
and disperse them among you,
and when you die, let your
light rest in the palm of my hand,
that I may find my way
in darkness.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

It's Confirmed

I'm now 100% sure.

13 ways to know you're a changeling ~ by Francesca Lia Block

1. you have never felt as if you quite belonged
2. when you love someone it is like immolation or drowning
3. you yearn for the earth, even fantasize about eating it in handfuls
4. your skin does not seem like your own
5. metal frightens you
6. light on shallow water causes you to gasp
7. as do the carcasses of sea lions prepared by taxidermists for the coldly lit cases of dark museums
8. touch is one of the only ways you know to get back to yourself
9. but with the wrong human it can take you farther away until you almost cease to exist
10. you have repeated dreams of flying even though it takes tremendous effort and feels more like running a race
11. you have abandonment issues without necessarily any obvious cause
12. you are always secretly seeking ways to hurt yourself, as if this might prove to whoever is in charge that your tasks are done
13. hopefully, when you are young you discover something called love, which is really just another name for going home

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Great Tragedy

Why is writing an ordeal? When did it become a chore? Why do I turn it into something complex? When I was younger I couldn't wait to get to the page. I spent hours in school writing stories in Lisa Frank notebooks. I just sat down and wrote and the stories came to me. The process made me happy. Now it's like pulling teeth. Now I hold my head in my hands like I've just experienced a tragedy. I guess when you try too hard at anything it becomes complex. Why can't I stop trying and just DO???

Photo by Adam Lyon

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sweet Dream

I had a dream about the sky. It was a perfect night sky with a full moon and flashes of orange light in the shape of clouds. The reason was unknown. And there were millions of shooting stars darting across the sky and all the constellations were drawn out and illuminated in neon greens and pinks. Wouldn't it be fascinating to see something like that?