~Submerged~

"Be in love
with your life."

~Jack Kerouac

I guess the phoenix was right...

I GOT A JOB!

I got the call at 8:30 this morning that Trinity University wants me on their HR staff. I can't tell you how much of a relief this is.

Thank you for all your prayers and wishes and positive vibes :)

Phoenix Rising

I dreamed of a phoenix rising -
red and yellow feathers like fire in the sky.
The sun made a halo around her head.

She went to a pool of water to drink.
A coyote sat in front of her -
angry and showing teeth.

She opened her great beak
and swallowed him.
I watched her fly away.

According to this website and several others, to dream of a phoenix is a good sign.

"In Greek mythology, the Phoenix was a bird with great beauty, splendor and longevity. The legend tells us that the Phoenix lived for five hundred years and then retreated to make a nest where she would die. She made a nest of aromatic twigs that would burn from the heat of its own body. The Phoenix is said to rise from its own ashes. It comes alive though the transforming power of fire and it lives again in full splendor. In the Middle Ages, the Phoenix was often used as a symbol for Christ, as he resurrected. This legendary bird is an archetypal dream symbol that brings us positive and powerful images of rebirth. If you dream of the Phoenix, it is most likely that you are receiving message from the unconscious that are telling you that new life and new beginnings are always possible. This bird is a reminder that we have internal powers of regeneration and that we have the power to change things for the better. As you are interpreting this dream, try to visualize a great bird rising up from fire and ash. It is a powerful image, whether produced by a dream or visualization."

Maybe she represents my journey. Maybe I will rise from the ashes. Maybe the coyote is another side of me. The side that is weak, lacking in ambition, deceptive, fearful. The phoenix swallows the coyote and flies away. The stronger part of myself rises above the weakness.

I hope this is true. I've just had a bit of bad news concerning a job I really wanted and worked hard to get. I didn't get it. I feel like I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. I hope I do see the phoenix rise.


Photo by: EHE1985

Things I Have Thought

~We are all connected in that we are all on different paths. I think that's extraordinary!

~Tonight I realized how full of abundance my life really is. I am surrounded by people who love me and support me, by people who bake me cupcakes and offer their home to me. I have friends to laugh with and family who help me out in times of need. I have a boyfriend who brings me presents because he loves me and thinks about me when we're apart. All of this is worth so much more than lots of money or a job. If I had those things and none of the people in my life, I feel I would be quite miserable.

~Photo from here

Happy birthday, Ezra.

Life Magic

"Whatever you focus on will become your reality."
~Laura Bushnell

I'm reading a book by Laura Bushnell called Life Magic, and through it I'm learning a lot about manifestation and focusing my thoughts and changing my attitude. It seems to be working. Yesterday was a testament to the magic life provides if you focus your words and thoughts on positive things and things you want.

Small "coincidences" I noticed yesterday and today:

1) I was in the car listening to the radio and really wanted to hear a certain song that's not played often. I just kept saying in my mind that I wanted that song to be the next song played, and guess what? It was the next song played!

2) My boyfriend and I were having a discussion about getting things organized and how he wanted to create a space specifically for his and his roommate's motorcycle gear, so that it wouldn't be strewn across the floor. We left the apartment for a little while and when we came back his roommate had put hooks in the wall for their jackets and helmets.

3) Another radio incident. There was a second song I wanted to be played and just for extra oomph I decided it should be played on a radio station I hardly listen to. That way I knew I wasn't aware of their rotations. In fact, I wasn't even sure if the band was in their rotation. I turned to that station and guess what? THAT SONG WAS PLAYING!

4) Today, while looking for jobs online, I wished that I could work in the library. No library positions have been open since I started job hunting in May. I decided it was worth a glance today and what do you know? A library position had been posted and today was the last day to apply.

Positive vibrations? Manifestation? Coincidence? A change in attitude and outlook? It doesn't matter. It makes me smile. :)

More life magic to come...

Photo credit: Missleto

A little bit of stream of conciousness

This morning I'm waking up to rain and cloudy skies, but I'm not allowing myself to harbor negative thoughts. Not about the weather, not about jobs, not about love, not about anything. Because I've come to realize that what we focus on is what manifests. If I am constantly thinking about what negative things could happen, chances are I'm going to be pretty miserable, even if things aren't that bad. It's because I'm looking for the negative. I'm anticipating all the bad that could happen and forgetting about the good. No wonder it seems like nothing ever unfolds for me. When I was younger I felt like good things just fell in my lap. Everything went my way. My dreams were so easy to reach. Probably because I never doubted myself. I never doubted that good things could actually happen to me. I just assumed they would. I had more faith and trust in myself and the world around me. I don't know when things changed. Maybe it was when I first became depressed and I used the "only anticipate bad things and you won't be disappointed when the good things don't happen" coping mechanism. That old way of thinking still sneaks up on me. Sometimes I don't even realize it until I'm crying about situations that haven't even happened! That's no way to live. So today I vow to unleash negative thinking. I choose to meditate on good things. I choose to imagine all the wonderful things that could happen. It's going to be a really hard thing for me to do, but I'm tired of only perceiving misery. I don't want to disconnect or create drama or feel like a little black cloud. Even if it is cloudy today. I don't have to be.