Sunday, May 31, 2009

old notebook quotes

photo by l.locke

"Who we love is beyond our control."
~FLB Wasteland

photo by TA.D

"Some nights are made for torture, or reflection, or the savoring of loneliness."
~Poppy Z. Brite

photo by vokaris

"Think of your pain like a bunch of red roses, a beautiful thorn necklace. Everyone has one."
~FLB Witchbaby

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Road to Somewhere

I'm beginning to feel like I live out of boxes.

Tomorrow I'm on the road again...

photo by bubbo-tubbo

Walking down the Mercer Street
Been a long hot summer

Rain like daggers comin' down on me

Got a feeling it's too late

But alone together

Could be we might start it up all over again

Dream dream it's not too late

Sweet road to somewhere else

Listen to the radio
Are you calling

3 o'clock I'm on my way
On the road to somewhere

Little clouds like wounds that blow away

Listening to the radio like a friend that guides me

Playing out every song we used to know

Bring it on

Come along

On the road to somewhere

Take our time

See the signs

On the road to somewhere


Sunday, May 17, 2009

water lilies on a spring day

I've decided to move to San Antonio in hopes that there is more opportunity for me there. I have someone to stay with while I look for a job, but it's still going to be lonely. This is the first time I will have lived in an unfamiliar city with no friends or boyfriend to rely on. This is all me. And I'm incredibly nervous. The good thing is that my family will only be about 3 1/2 hours away, but I will still miss them.

Choices and decisions have been on my mind a lot. They are scary things. What if I make the wrong choice? What if things go horribly? What if, what if, what if....

I've found a few gems of knowledge to share with you here. Also, some photos I took today at the lily pond.

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
~J.K. Rowling

"The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith."
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions."
~ Deepak Chopra

"Choice by choice, moment by moment, I build the necklace of my day, stringing together the choices that form artful living."
~ Julia Cameron

"At some point your heart will tell itself what to do."
~ Achaan Chah

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My quarter-life crisis

You never know what's going on behind the curtain. From the audience it seems like everyone has it going on. Everyone is making more money than you, creating more, has more friends, moving up in the world, happier, and just generally making a real contribution. But honestly, we're all just fumbling around in the dark wondering how everyone else is making it.

No one talks about this quarter-life crisis thing. No one cares about the twenty something population. I feel like being a twenty something is like walking a tight rope from childhood to adulthood, and you never know when you're going to fall flat on your stomach and have the wind knocked out of you.

I'm 26, but just now beginning to realize that this is what I'm going through. Growing through. I thought it was just me being a huge failure, but apparently it's quite common. That's good to know. But when does it end? When do I feel like I've finally "made it"?

The job search is awful. I'm trying to decide whether I need to stay in my hometown and continue to look for a so-so job in which to pay bills with and save money or if I should move on to the big city and continue my search there. I could get to the city and have the same bout of bad luck, but I don't see that I have anything to lose. I like having the comfort of my friends and family though. This is what it all comes down to. Getting out of my comfort zone. Taking a bit of a risk. Either way, I will probably end up losing money.

Decisions, decisions.