Sunday, August 31, 2008


My Sunday has been blue skies and inspiration. No bittersweet feelings here. Tomorrow's a holiday!

I love the spirit in this movie. The passion. I love how Mr. Keating requires his students to rip out the "What is poetry?" page in their text books. I want to resurrect the Dead Poets Society. I want to see that kind of passion for literature and poetry. Oh, and for those of you who watch House, Dr. Wilson is a teenager in this!

I wanted to buy a teacup and matching saucer today. This set is actually a light blue color and there is gold detailing around the saucer.

I'm reading Winter Love, an in depth account of H.D. and Ezra Pound's love and poetic relationship.

I've been giving Benson plenty of attention and play time this weekend. I feel so bad for him during the week when I'm at work and he has to stay in the crate. He still has too much puppy in him to let him run loose while everyone is out of the house. After playing fetch and a long walk, he passed out for a couple of hours. He's awake now and running around like a mad dog!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The artist and the muse...

Muses are poison
when they become human.
And they will.
If you so much as touch them
they will.
If you so much as speak to them
they will.
They will always become Icarus
and you will be beneath them.

There are the girls
with sharp noses
and drugged-up,
smoky eyes.
They are fae
with literary tattoos
on their backs
and they wear lacy socks
with gauzy dresses.
They are talented.
Multi-talented and beautiful.
Ugly beautiful and strange
and they have older boyfriends
with long hair.
The boyfriends take
naked pictures of the fae.
Perfect jaw line.
Perfect bones.

And there are the boys.
The boys with wild wings,
hard hands,
lips quick to kiss
the parts of you
they want to tattoo.
Perfect boys in your mind.
Perfect, perfect,
walking right past you everyday,
smiling and giving you poetry.

Then you let your human self
saunter up to these girls,
these boys,
these vile muses,
and you shrink down
beneath them.
You shrink because you think
they are gods, goddesses,
you are unworthy of such inspiration.
Give, give,
you will give them everything.

But how quickly
they turn to dust.
Muses to humans.
And you'll see.
I promise you'll see.
You'll see the Adam
and the Eve
and the human they're made of.
But it will be too late.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ding, ding, ding...

I've hit the jackpot! For all of you who were bummed about Angie Hearts closing shop, I did a little research and found that there are plenty more Japanese inspired fashion boutiques out there! Here are a few of my favorites:

Yes Style
Style with Passionz
Lolita Kisama
Asia Jam
Trendy Outfitters

Ebay shops:
Fashion Fairyland
Rabbit's Japan Vintage Fashion Shop

I decided to purchase something from Angie Hearts before she closes for good. Bought this dress today

Aaaaand this ruffled slip from Rabbit's Japan Vintage. I can't believe we haven't caught on to this trend yet - layering the ruffled slips underneath...just about anything! I love it :)

Friday, August 22, 2008

All Googly Eyed

I'm pretty sure that everything on this website was made *exclusively* for me. Every stitch has my name on it. It's just too bad I can't purchase everything at once and have the most amazing closet full of clothes!

This looks enticing...

And wouldn't this make the cutest winter dress??

I lovelovelove babydoll dresses and Victorian ruffles and high neck collars. Oh look, something with all three!

I also nearly dropped dead when I saw these on this website. Unfortunately, they're out of stock, but when they restock, I'm all over that.

And I *know* I just bought shoes, but I can't stop thinking about these...

I'm actively bidding on this little number. I've only used Ebay once and it was a "buy now" purchase, but this is worth it. I think this just might be the perfect dress.

And now a piccie of my most recent purchases--my lovely "hooker" shoes and stripey leg warmers! Noooo...I don't wear them out in public. Not together at least *ahem*

The first boutique I spoke of is closing. Just my luck :(

Friday, August 15, 2008


A few days ago I posted this picture on Flickr and noted that Minuet was mad at me because I decided against a dollhouse for my birthday. She fears she will be homeless forever, not to mention she has no rement (mini food) or little doodads to keep her company. Yesterday, I walked into my study/craft room to find Minuet face down on the floor. She had jumped off the bookcase and out of her stand!!! I have heard of other Blythe owners experiencing strange things with their dolls, and now I believe! Minuet really is mad at me and has gone to extremes to get my attention.

I did take her hair out of the braids and it looks a bit better than it did when she came out of the box, but there is still work to do.

Friday, August 8, 2008

When my heart skips a beat...

When it comes to shopping, my motto is, "If it doesn't make your heart skip a beat, don't buy it." If I look at a top or a pair of shoes and think, I like this, I don't buy it. If I look at a top or a pair of shoes and think, holy cow, I must have this!!! and my spirit sort of jumps out of my body, I buy it. If I buy something I feel half-hearted about or if I buy something I like, but it doesn't scream at me, there's a 90% chance I'll be bored with it a week later.

I'm super excited about my new finds! I went on a virtual shopping trip yesterday in search of the next heart stopping apparel.

First of all, I've been wanting a simple, black choker for quite some time. Not too thick, so as not to give me a stumpy neck. I love chokers! They're the only type of jewelry I'll wear for great spans of time. Strangely enough, I've had the same blue and black beaded choker since I was a teenager. The other two beautiful Gothic style chokers I once had broke long ago and I've never purchased anything since. Until yesterday...I found this black velvet choker on Etsy. Yes, I could probably make the same thing for cheap, but I have no patience for such things.

Another shopping characteristic I possess is that I always have great intentions to buy colorful clothes. I remind myself that I would like to incorporate more pink and violet into my wardrobe. Pink because it contrasts so superbly with black hair and violet because it's one of my favorite colors. But the inevitable always happens - I buy something in black. I don't do it because it's safe or because it goes with everything (although it does!), but because I truly love black. There could be a room full of the most vibrant colored clothes and my eyes would immediately zone in on the black piece. It's such a striking and dramatic color! Needless to say, I couldn't help myself when I saw this blouse. And is that not the most exquisite embroidered design on the back?!

And last, but not least, HOW could I pass up these (say it slowly now) patent-leather, purple, platform pumps? Yes, I will be almost six feet tall, but has that ever stopped me before?
Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday money so I can feed my fashion addiction :)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Today is my birthday...

...but that is not the most important thing.. What's important is that I share my birthday with Percy Bysshe Shelley, the great Romantic poet! (Yes, he was married to Mary Shelley.) He was the subject of an essay I wrote in my college Romantic Poets class, which I believe was titled "Percy Bysshe Shelley - the Dark Romantic." I wish I had that essay with me.

If you have some time, I urge you to read "To a Skylark." This is my favorite stanza:

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not:
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

*le sigh*

Happy birthday Percy!!!

And me too :)

Friday, August 1, 2008


When it's all said and done, passion = suffering.

I have two passions:
1) Writing
2) Dancing

These are what make me suffer.

From age 5 to 18 it was only writing. There was no competition. I think I wrote more fiction when I was 10 than I do now. It's all I could think about. It's all I strived for. I had immaculate plans for my writing life. Then something snuck in. A new lover. It was then that I betrayed my first love.

It may seem silly, but I've felt like a cheater since I was 18 - since I started ballet. There's no doubt that it came at a very critical time in my life. A time when writing could not play the role of sanity keeper. It's not that I didn't want to write, but more because I mentally couldn't. Everything I wrote became my own horror story. I know, this is all very cryptic unless you know my history, but let's just focus on the fact that writing was not helping.

So yes, I started dancing, after not having an interest in it at all a year before. I was a late bloomer in the dance world, starting at 18. I was in class with people who had danced all their life. It was intimidating, but I worked extremely hard and tried to catch up as best I could. So dance became my solace. A place I knew I could be sane 4 days a week for a few hours. Nothing else rattled my brain. Mental warfare ceased because there was no room to think about anything but the technicality of ballet movement.

But a new warfare was born - the one I still struggle with today. I get angry at myself for getting angry at myself for not being better at ballet. I get angry when I spend my money to see a ballet performance and not a writer's conference. I get angry when there are characters who won't stop haunting me until I write them into existence and I don't sit down and do it.

Yes, I can love two things at once. Yes, I can do two things at once. I've been doing it for years, but why do I always feel like I'm having an affair? Maybe one night at ballet class I'm not at the top of my game and I think about it for weeks. I fail to win a writing contest and it passes through my hands like sand. That disturbs me. Writer Cassandra says, "How can you take this so lightly?"

It's always scared me to think, maybe ballet brings me just as much happiness (suffering) as writing. Totally ridiculous. Totally mellow dramatic.

Writer Cassandra is an attention whore, or maybe she just knows what's best for me and knows that if I don't (God forbid this ever happen!) write a book, I'll regret it more than not starting ballet at age 4. I do love being able to express my self in other ways besides writing. No matter what - dancing, painting, dressing like a circus act - will always have a place in my life.

TAKE THAT writer Cassandra :)