Friday, September 26, 2008

Procrastinating (not writing my novel)

(I make desktop wallpaper for "inspiration")

I have known you

in the hush of trees
in autumn's amber light
in fields of summer sunsets

I have known you

in the hurting sea
and in the distant city lights
remembering all the nights

when my heart was dark and blind

Poefusion - Friday 5

A secluded tree
hangs his heavy bones
above the snow

An old man with fatigue
trudging through a season
colored white and grey

But there is solace
in the monotonous
white of winter

For he knows that
his roots are still
buried in the warm core
of Earth's silent spring

And there is where
his hope lies -
entangled in the embroidery
of sleeping flowers

who will once again
be beckoned by the sun
to circle round
the skeleton tree

and thaw away
his misery

Monday, September 22, 2008

You speak of midnight stars and music
Soft, pink cardigans and delicate brooches
Beauty as pure beauty
No scissors to rip the ribbon
But there's something underneath the rug
Something you've swept away
You've discarded this beauty
Swollen, apple-red eyes
Demons in the mirror
Broken plastic wings
And cigarettes
Where is your tragedy
It is the only beauty left
When the world is a wave
Above your heart

P.S. I started working on my novel today. I didn't get too far, of course, but I'm weeding through a lot of information. Organizing it in my head. People, places, times, dates. The important thing is I made a conscious effort to sit down and write something.

And so the journey begins...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Now I've seen everything!

Gothic Christians

To provide a place of belonging for Christian Goths. We cultivate and nurture groups around the world, places where Goths can gather. And we encourage and support people from whom they can receive care.

To unite Christian Goths, we encourage those who wish to sponsor
conventions and gatherings where we can gather together to worship, pray,
celebrate, learn from and support each other.

To provide a presence in the greater Goth community. We make ourselves available and accessible to those that are seeking that in seeking they may find.

To promote, encourage and preserve Gothic Christian culture in all its varied forms. We offer opportunities for the artist and any Gothic Christian venture to share their God given talent.

I can't believe I haven't heard of this. A place where gothicism and Christianity merge? A ramble of the passionate sort...

This brings to mind something that happened at a church I went to long ago. Mother, do you remember this? There was a girl who was a member of the church who dressed quite gothic. You know, the stereotypical type with blue hair and long, black dresses, loud makeup. Some people at the church didn't agree with this and assumed that because she dressed the way she did, something was wrong. How can anyone love God and dress like that? They proceeded to "make her over" and give her a new, more christian friendly outlook on how one should dress. I know they were only doing what they thought was best and meant no harm, but there are so many people out there, Christians or not, that are seriously misguided about what really matters to God. The heart.

I didn't know that girl personally or know if there were other things going on in her life that suggested she might be headed down the wrong path, but if her only sin was dressing in funeral garb, what's up with that?

I don't think God judges us by what we're wearing, and I certainly don't think he has a bag of labels he throws out like we're all in some eternal high school. People shouldn't assume that the ones who enjoy things of the darker variety have pentagrams nailed to their walls and pools of blood they swim in whilst chanting demonic prose.

Same thing goes for all this Harry Potter hocus pocus. Remember when there was a huge uproar about the Harry Potter series being unfit for Christian children because it = witchcraft? There's a difference between having fun with your imagination and serious witchcraft. I've loved all things fantastical and faerie like for years. Does that make me pagan or wiccan?

Christianity gets a bad rap because of things like this. No one ever sees or meets the Christians who actually get it and that's frustrating. Anywho, I'm off the soapbox now.

Your two cents?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Ocean dwellers really are the strangest creatures ever created. I imagine God sitting in his drawing room, sketching out some new characters. The lines on the paper come together to reveal something fantastic. Something almost otherworldly. A little dragon for the miniature mermaids.

I had never seen nor heard of a sea dragon until last Saturday, when I practically stuck my nose to the glass of the inhabitant's dwelling. What an odd and wonderful thing! It even has tiny dragon wings.

Luc and I visited Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg, TN last Saturday. Not only did I discover the sea dragon, I also got to be up close and personal with various sharks. Okay, I wasn't nose to nose with Jaws, but a saw fish swimming only a few feet above me with only a piece of glass between us is close enough for me.

I'm mesmerized by the fluidity and grace of the jellyfish. They're beautiful to watch, but I can only assume the sting isn't so sweet.

There were even kiddos housed inside the aquarium. The baby jellyfish were labeled, "Babies Without Brains."

Super duper cutie seahorses! A few of them have their tails wrapped around the tiny sticks. Go to my flickr to see up close.

Ahh yes, it was a fun learning experience, and I highly recommend finding a sea dragon of your own :)

And now, completely off topic, here is my latest collage on watercolor paper. The border on the bottom is so random. It adds that certain strangeness my soul must have. I plan on using the dress form again.

Friday, September 12, 2008

No more excuses

"I need to work on my poetry."
"What about that other story I started?"
"Maybe I need to research a bit more."

No. No. No. I'll do anything to avoid starting my novel, but this story has been on my mind for three years and I've read almost every book I could possibly read in the name of research. There's nothing left to do but write.

Many people say we make excuses and put off writing (or whatever our passion happens to be), not because we actually have more important things to do, but because we're scared. I'm not going to pretend that's not true, because it is! I *am* scared. I'm scared of the whole process and all the work and isolation it's going to involve. I'm scared nothing will even come out. All the beautiful images. The perfect movie in my head. It's not going to happen like that, but I have to remember:

~ It's okay to write crap. I will write and not edit. Just let everything flow out first, no matter how horrible, then go back and put the pieces together.
~ If When I finish this story, that doesn't mean my job is over. Prepare for years of rejection, tons of rewrites, lots of crying.
~ When I feel like giving up, don't! This story is meant to be. There's no time like the present to write my first book.

To anyone who is reading this, please hold me accountable to my words.

Like that Gwen Stefani song says, "Whatcha waiting for?"


Just saw this quote from Ernest Hemingway. It's so appropriate for this post, and it made me laugh out loud :)

"The First Draft of Anything is Shit"

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Art has no plan...

The Twins - mixed media on 8.5x11 canvas

This was absolutely, 100% not what I had planned on creating. In its humble beginning it was a muddy mess that I wasn't sure could be revived. Alas, a little paint here, a little texture there, some random images that came out of nowhere, and viola! The asylum twins emerged from their cell.

It is such a common occurrence that whatever I plan on making never happens. I walk down my path of visions only to end up somewhere completely different. It's not such a bad thing, I suppose. I meet some very interesting characters.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A new piece I call Baroque 'n Roll

Acrylic paint, crown stamp, image colored with watercolor pencils