Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Quarter-life crisis

I can sit and look at this painting all day. It's currently my desktop wallpaper and I find myself entranced by the mood it creates. I stare as if I'm really at this park watching the women in their little boat, enjoying a summer day. I imagine my fingers creating ripples in the cool of the water. And I haven't forgotten the bits of bread for the duckies.

There is peace in this painting. Especially when I turn around and see the windows framing a gray sky. All the trees are still dead and I'll be wearing a sweater by the week's end.

My spirit is agitated and restless. I know that at least part of it is due to s.a.d., but another part is because I'm trying to find my place in the world. A nice, little boat to guide me through the journey. A place where my heart isn't frazzled.

Writing is my oxygen and yet, right now it feels like only an afterthought. I feel like I'm holding my breath until 5:00 p.m...everyday. I reallyreallyreally hate that feeling.

BUT, I shall not end on a negative note. There is much to be thankful for, much to love. Especially this hope in spring.

p.s. "Sometimes when you're ready for a change and you kind of know it but won't admit it, when it comes, not only are you surprised, but it hurts."

1 comment:

Pixie July said...

I'm really glad my post helped. Believe me, I needed to write it for myself, too! I've been up and down a lot of late, and sometimes I have to give myself a proverbial shake and be reminded to just have faith. :) Beautiful, beautiful painting.